Kids’ll do anything for Dairylea.  In fact, they’ll even run drugs if they can just their grubby little mitts on the sweet, sweet taste of that delicious dairy spread.  Think I’m making it up?  Well, just check out their latest advert.

Yes that’s right, having just witnessed the most recent cheese based branding exercise, I can reveal that drug running is on the agenda.  This is evidenced by the choice of song for the advert: Alright by Supergrass.  As any Supergrass fan like myself can tell you, the song begins with the lines; “We are young, we run green, keep our teeth nice and clean”.  The bit about being young, that’s fine, it’s the second bit that bothers me.

It’d be entirely understandable if some marketing drone had listened to the first seven seconds of Alright and thought “oh yeah, this is perfect for advertising a cheese spread aimed at children and people who don’t care for Philadelphia”.  If they’d actually bothered to pay attention though, they’d realise the cheeky, brazen drug reference in the song.

I know that kids these days are little fuckers – as they’ve always been – but I doubt they have enough time to sell skunk amid their busy schedule of getting in my way and generally poisoning the world with their idiocy.

Maybe the next time that Dairylea make an advert, I’d recommend they choose a more appropriate soundtrack and – more importantly – not rape one of my favourite songs. Why not use something like Jamie Cullum? That’s about as cheesy as it fucking gets.