What ever happened to Legz Akimbo theatre company?  They would certainly not look out of place at this year’s Edinburgh festival, I’m sure of that.  Actually, Legz Akimbo would be a fuckload more entertaining.  My question is; why on earth somebody would want – let alone pay – to see a bunch of talentless ponces mincing about on a tiny stage with no real purpose or statement of intent truly baffles me.

I appreciate theatre’s cultural significance and contribution, but it’s fair to say that the batch at this year’s Edinburgh festival are clearly void of any ability whatsoever.

However, there is something even worse than the awful acts plying their even more awful trade.  That something is the televised abomination of BBC2′s The Review Show.

As anybody reading this website – even in passing – can tell, I am a man with no hang-ups about expressing opinions, although I do it for love, not money.  The same cannot be said of the middle-class bozos waffling on about whatever topics are on the agenda this week.  Who gives a shit about what they think?*  It wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t all trying to outdo each other with the poly-syllabic words they like to make up, oh, hang on, yes it would.

The fact of the matter is, I am perfectly capable of making up my own mind, as are you and virtually everybody else.  Nobody needs Kirsty Wark and her gang of pretentious tossers to tell them whether or not something is any good and, based on the footage from the Edinburgh festival, it certainly isn’t.

What do I know though?  I wasn’t there.  Maybe a bunch of Flemish teenagers performing an incredibly contrived play about teenage life a la Skins is really important work.  Maybe it isn’t.  And just maybe, a middle-aged balding beardy tosspot knows more about being young than I do and he truly understands the value of this performance.  Maybe he doesn’t.

So what’s my point?  Well, as usual, it’s debatable as to whether or not I have one, but if I did, I’d say it’s probably got something to do with middle-aged middle-class people not being the fucking oracle and their opinions being ultimately just as worthless as mine.  It’s probably also got something to do with a lot of stuff that gets on at Edinburgh being total dross that nobody would ordinarily go and see.  Although I suppose they get paid to do this.

*Don’t fucking tell me about being a hypocrite, I’m fully aware of what I do.  It’s how I get my kicks.